Dogs...

Week 4: The staff have one of those posh pod chair beds for us but we can only use it if the blanket inside is tidy so we can mess it up; we can’t go into a messy bed after all. We only use it because they got it for free and have to uphold the unwritten kitty law that we ignore expensive things to play with things that are free.

When we open our cat café there are some people who are worried about us going into the kitchen: let us tell you, the kitchen is scary. The staff made a cake and it sounded like they were using a hoover. We don’t even want to go in there.

Sushi: Sir Fluffington acts all brave but he’s only not scared of the hoover when it’s turned off. That’s not all, the staff have started to catch him being naughty rather than me for once. I told everyone that he’s the naughty one and just tricks the staff into thinking it’s me.

We have some pretty disturbing news! For a short time there’s going to a puppy staying with us. At first we hated it, naturally of course as it is a dog after all. It seemed to have an obsession with our litter tray, just like the staff. Worst of all it kept trying to steal our food. The nerve of it all! It was lucky we even allowed it (from now on we shall refer to the dog as ‘it’ until we feel it is worthy of a name, which will probably be ‘dog’) in the same room as us.

We started to get used to it but it the sheer audacity to then try to nibble our tails. We’re in the process of putting it in its place.

Sir Fluffington:  I have never in my life felt the need to hiss until this…this…dog…it has no respect for the rightful order of things. Cats are on top, loved by all. Dogs are…well I’m undecided on that one, perhaps I’ll find a use for it. Perhaps…at least its food is sort of tasty.

Sushi: I like radiators, they have interesting grey fluffy stuff up the back of them like grey clouds but fluffy and nice, not wet and horrible. I try and collect it but the staff keep stealing my collection. They can be so rude sometimes. I’m sure they wouldn’t like it if I stole their collection of musical instruments. I meow better than any instrument can be played anyway.

Sir Fluffington: I know it’s been here the whole time but I’ve suddenly realised the washing machine is quite interesting, a bit like Stephen Fry spinning on the wheel of fortune.

This week we were back at the vets…again…apparently someone thought it was a good idea to stick chips

into animals telling everyone our address. If we wanted you to know our address we’d tell you ourselves! We also had to have our second injection which means soon we’ll able to go for walks around town.

Oh as a final side note the staff have everything up so crowdfunding will start tomorrow. We hope you will suppawt as without your suppawt we won’t be able to open our cat café and we really want to spread our joy throughout Brighton…and Hove actually and help people relax with our wonderful purring qualities. Our purrs however will not be free as we will demand compensation in the form of fusses.

Crane Flies and Crowdfunding

Day 15:  After the staff have taken such in interest in our toilet, we decided maybe there is something interesting there and try to see what they’re up to, but the staff just act like they’re digging for treasure. News flash! There’s no treasure there, only poo…humans are so weird. Big news happened at the end of last week that somehow we were left out of! The staff got an article published about our cat café and neglected to mention us! They claim it’s because the article was written before they got us but we think they just want to claim our spotlight. They lost brownie points today. http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10718411.Cat_cafe_comes_to_Brighton/

  

Day 16: The staff have been working too hard and paying us too little attention. Get this: when we wake up, we have to meow to get their attention so that they come over and make a fuss of us. They should do it automatically, waiting on our every footstep. We’re starting to think they don’t know their place. At least they spend they time making our cat café closer to a reality.

Sushi: As I typed, Word told me “closer is not a valid number.” I know that Word, I’m not the stupid one, Sir Fluffington is…and my paws are not so big that I typed it in the wrong place like some heckler on twitter seems to think.

Sir Fluffington: Last week was the first crane fly, today the first normal fly flew in. I of course was the one to eat it. Yum! We were both after it and Sushi swatted it to the ground where I beat her to it.

Day 17: Today was another lazy day; the staff were busy preparing for crowdfunding whilst we slept. One fantastic thing did happen today: we had cat milk for the first time. It was so tasty we just wanted more and more.

Sushi:  I think I’d have milk on everything if I could, maybe a milk Jacuzzi is a good idea…I should patent that idea. I’ll call it the milkcuzzi, it’ll be huge.

Day 18: Sir Fluffington: Sushi went crazy today and was naughty. She definitely woke up on the wrong side of the cat tower. I, on the other hand, tried to show her the way to behave and was a perfect gentleman, women…

Sushi: I have decided after watching much Gossip Girl that Sir Fluffington is actually Chuck Bass in disguise. He schemes to make me look like the naughty one and even swaggers like Chuck; that’s right, Sir Fluffington doesn’t walk, he swaggers.

Day 19: Sir Fluffington: The staff had to do recording for the promotional video and they chose me to be in it. I knew they would choose me as Sushi was being a diva and refused to do it unless they gave her a room full of green fluffy mice and milkcuzzi, whatever that is. I was fantastic and knew my role well, I was a poor kitty being refused a home. I even knew when to meow.

Day 20: We were picked up a lot and shown some things that we can’t reach ourselves. The staff have a lot strange bits hanging around the place, they sure looked fun to play with. Once again all the staff did was work; we know they’re doing lots to help us open our cat café but they need their priorities straight. Giving us attention comes first!

Sushi: How to get the bed to yourself: start washing other person’s bum. They will move fairly quickly and then you have all the space you need to stretch out. You humans should try it when you want the bed to yourself.  I also watched Formula 1 with Keri. It was great being picked up so I had a better view. I wish she had watched the whole race with me but she’s weird and doesn’t find it interesting. How could you not want to play with all the moving cars?

Day 21:  The staff were in the press again. Again they didn’t mention us! We are outraged! So much so this post ends here! http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10738824.Brighton_s_first_cat_cafe_appeals_for_funding/

Vets are Scary

Day 8: In the morning we were swiftly whisked off to the vets. Worst day ever.

The vets were noisy with barking puppies who thought they were as cute as us barking. We had a horrid pedicure where we lost half of our nails. The vets rubbed disgusting liquid in our ears which was really itchy. The price of being beautiful certainly is a high one. The worst bit was still to come… The vet got this huge scary needle and jabbed it into us. After this we felt really ill for the rest of the day and just laid down all day. We felt so bad we wouldn’t let any paparazzi take photos of us which is why there’s no photo of us today. The staff did tell us that they were busy filming and editing a video for crowdfunding to help us raise funds to open our cat café, though. It’s always important to have someone else do all the hard work for you. We were well looked after by the staff when not feeling well; it’s good to know that they are well behaved. It was a lot of effort writing this today and really hope we feel better tomorrow.

Sushi: I just needed to add that the vet knew after 5 minutes of meeting us, that I was the thinker out of the two of us and that boys are stoopid.

Day 9: We feel so much better this morning, for this reason we decided we won’t leave the staff alone and made them stroke and play with us. It was a day of much sleeping and purring as we were still tired from the scary injection yesterday but we had lots of cuddles so it was nice.

Sushi: It was definitely a day of laziness and pampering. My favourite bit was sitting with the staff and watching Gossip Girl on the only break I let them have today.

Day 10:  After sleeping for two days, we decided that now it was time to go wild. We hoped the staff were ready. Despite this we were good as we have more to worry about than just playing; we do have a cat café to open after all. Because of this we thought we’d better let the staff get on with work.

Day 11: We have decided that the staff are dedicated to opening a cat café for us so we have started purring whenever the staff come near us when we’re laying down. It’s a treat to them to get to hear us purr so often. Whilst we slept today, we sent the staff out to do some more filming of our promotional video for when we start crowdfunding.

Sir Fluffington: I’m starting to live up to my name as I’ve noticed my fur is getting extremely thick and fluffy; it makes laying down anywhere super comfy.

Day 12: The staff have started hoovering with us in the room which is a little scary but we’re brave kitties (we have to be in order to open a cat café). The sun was out today and it was lovely laying in it but too hot to play much so we slept and had lots of fusses.

Sir Fluffington: I didn’t let that hoover get the best of me. Here’s the picture to prove it. I also ate my first crane fly. Sushi caught it but I sneakily stole it and ate it before she could get it back. I was kind enough to leave one leg for her though.

Day 13: It was hot and sunny again and we laid in the sun for a while before we got given some exciting new toys. They were fluffy things on sticks. We chased them and jumped super high to get them. We even practised walking the staff by holding the toy in our mouths; we’re sure this will come in handy in the future. Eventually it was too much though and the staff had to put us in front of our water so that we’d drink, even though we didn’t want to stop.

Sushi: The new toys were so much fun but I didn’t want to stop, I had my first growl when Sir Fluffington tried to take the toy away from me and I had to hiss at him (that was a first too) to show him who’s toys they really are. He always steals all the toys, but not this time.

Sir Fluffington: Last week Sushi woke me by licking my bum…it was strange indeed. This week I decided I’d return the favour and woke her in the same fashion today; can’t say I enjoyed it but the look on her face was priceless.

Day 14: Today was fairly uneventful as the staff worked on the website for us and we slept lots, demanding cuddles when we woke.

Sir Fluffington: I experienced the bath for the first time and let me tell you, I don’t get why you humans take baths and showers. It’s all wet! I wanted out of that bath as quickly as possible. Just because I stepped in a little bit of my own poo, by accident might I add. I was forced into the bath and my feet washed against my will. I’m pretty sure that’s assault. I won’t press charges as I admit pooey feet aren’t a good thing.

Sushi: I think I discovered my one true love today! Armpits! I don’t know why, there’s just something about them that makes me go all gooey inside and want to snuggle. I love armpits.

Our First Week

Day 1: In the evening we were rescued from a dirty home by Jon and Keri and they took us back to their flat. We experienced a taxi for the first time which was really scary but it was so nice getting out of the carrier/play box into a clean home. We fearlessly explored straight away and played with string before collapsing next to Keri for the night.

Day 2: This morning we were told that we are going to run a café when we are a bit older and that Jon and Keri are actually our staff, so we had better start treating them like it. We had a little explore of the whole flat and we bought some new toys. It was fun playing and sleeping with the staff and were purring a lot which is something we never did at the old dirty home. By the end of the day the fleas we have thanks to our previous home were really bothering us. We hope we’re taken to the vets really soon.

Sushi: I think I’m destined to be a great explorer. I found so many great new places today and even found time to show Sir Fluffington who’s boss by shutting him in the carrier/play box.

Day 3: Finally we went to the vets to get our fleas treated. The journey was scary but the staff (Jon and Keri) were there to reassure us and kept stopping on the way to help calm us down. The vets was a scary place but we both wanted to explore it. When we got home there was lots of commotion as we had to move rooms and there was a funny smell but things seemed cleaner afterwards.

Sushi: I discovered that fish aren’t just for eating, they are for swinging on as well. Unfortunately our staff are yet to snap a photo of me in motion on it because I'm a ninja.

Day 4: The staff had more staff come and give us more attention and we were feeling better being cleaner. We played lots and slept just as much. We made a new discovery today, the staff have an amazing climbing frame that was right in front of us the whole time. 

Sir Fluffington: I was given a new bed. I think the staff called it a picnic hamper, whatever that is. I let Sushi play in my new bed but she knows it’s mine.

Day 5: Sushi: I’m taking over today: Sushi the explorer. I was going about my exploring business looking for lost lands and treasure but the staff kept stopping me. I don’t know what makes them think they have the right to tell me what to do, you just can’t get the staff these days. I discovered the joys of motor racing as I watched Moto GP with one of the staff. I also realised that the staff have a disturbing obsession with my toilet, I think they like to collect it…

Day 6: Sir Fluffington: Sushi had a turn so now it’s mine, not that I always follow her or anything. Anyway, today one of the staff made the most amazing thing for me, it’s made of white stuff that’s great to bite and flies through the air. I improved the aerodynamics of it by putting some well-thought out holes in it and now it flies even better. Maybe I should become a aeroplane designer. I was given a super tasty little parcel today as well. I didn’t know what it was at first so I just left it but the staff insisted on me eating it, so I did and it was the tastiest thing I’ve ever eaten. I’m looking forward to more.

Day 7: We’re getting really used to living here now and have been spending a lot of time at the top of our climbing frame. We fell off a lot at first because its odd drum-like shape caught us out but we are used to it now. Then there was really big news: suddenly we woke up and there was a huge tower in the middle of the room. We were cautious at first, but then climbed right to the top. Now we can look down on the staff, as things should be.

Sir Fluffington: The strangest thing happened today. I woke to my little sister licking my bum. I thought to myself: I can either have years of therapy to get over this or I can just go back to sleep. I chose the latter.

It’s been a week and we’re glad we are here. It makes a nice change from our first ten weeks in that dirty home and the staff are always playing with us and cuddling us and we purr all the time now. We were worried we’d never have a reason to purr but the staff have given us plenty of reasons. Look forward to us writing about our next week in our little kitten-sized adventure called life.