Dogs...

Week 4: The staff have one of those posh pod chair beds for us but we can only use it if the blanket inside is tidy so we can mess it up; we can’t go into a messy bed after all. We only use it because they got it for free and have to uphold the unwritten kitty law that we ignore expensive things to play with things that are free.

When we open our cat café there are some people who are worried about us going into the kitchen: let us tell you, the kitchen is scary. The staff made a cake and it sounded like they were using a hoover. We don’t even want to go in there.

Sushi: Sir Fluffington acts all brave but he’s only not scared of the hoover when it’s turned off. That’s not all, the staff have started to catch him being naughty rather than me for once. I told everyone that he’s the naughty one and just tricks the staff into thinking it’s me.

We have some pretty disturbing news! For a short time there’s going to a puppy staying with us. At first we hated it, naturally of course as it is a dog after all. It seemed to have an obsession with our litter tray, just like the staff. Worst of all it kept trying to steal our food. The nerve of it all! It was lucky we even allowed it (from now on we shall refer to the dog as ‘it’ until we feel it is worthy of a name, which will probably be ‘dog’) in the same room as us.

We started to get used to it but it the sheer audacity to then try to nibble our tails. We’re in the process of putting it in its place.

Sir Fluffington:  I have never in my life felt the need to hiss until this…this…dog…it has no respect for the rightful order of things. Cats are on top, loved by all. Dogs are…well I’m undecided on that one, perhaps I’ll find a use for it. Perhaps…at least its food is sort of tasty.

Sushi: I like radiators, they have interesting grey fluffy stuff up the back of them like grey clouds but fluffy and nice, not wet and horrible. I try and collect it but the staff keep stealing my collection. They can be so rude sometimes. I’m sure they wouldn’t like it if I stole their collection of musical instruments. I meow better than any instrument can be played anyway.

Sir Fluffington: I know it’s been here the whole time but I’ve suddenly realised the washing machine is quite interesting, a bit like Stephen Fry spinning on the wheel of fortune.

This week we were back at the vets…again…apparently someone thought it was a good idea to stick chips

into animals telling everyone our address. If we wanted you to know our address we’d tell you ourselves! We also had to have our second injection which means soon we’ll able to go for walks around town.

Oh as a final side note the staff have everything up so crowdfunding will start tomorrow. We hope you will suppawt as without your suppawt we won’t be able to open our cat café and we really want to spread our joy throughout Brighton…and Hove actually and help people relax with our wonderful purring qualities. Our purrs however will not be free as we will demand compensation in the form of fusses.