Christmas time!

Weeks 11 and 12: Sir Fluffington: The staff are useful, but they never seem to know exactly where I want a fuss which is rather inconvenient. I have found though if I grab their hands with my paws and put their hand in the right place then they almost get it right but humans just don’t seem to be jolly good at learning. It was especially important to do this while we had our cones on as we couldn’t get to the right places ourselves.

Sushi: I think Sir Fluffington has found his first love. He loves lamp. Yes, like on Anchor Man, Sir Fluffington loves lamp. I tease him about it but he doesn’t seem to get it he just loves lamp. He has to go and meow at it every day and he has the nerve to say he’s the smart one; I think not. Super Sushi roll the master explorer is way smarter. 

The staff have bought us new food bowls. They are the strangest food bowls we’ve ever encountered; for one they are spherical. Rather than just eating out of them we have to push them along and wait for bits of food to fall out. It makes eating take so much longer. We suppose it’s good though as we get to be interactive with our food.

We wanted to wait to post this blog until after our first Christmas, so we did. We don’t have to listen to the staff and post the blog at regular intervals, we can do it when we want. Although we did threaten to strike if they didn’t let us write it after Christmas day.

The day started with yummy food, chicken to be exact then we got to play for a bit before opening presents, we got a three way tunnel and loads of wrapping paper. The three way tunnel is great to play in and hide in and wrapping paper is so much fun and makes things like playing with peanuts even more exciting. We just spent the whole day playing until we couldn’t play anymore, then sleeping till we could play some more. Christmas is definitely a good day.

Crowdfunding didn’t work but we are resourceful kitties and are not going to let anything stop us from opening our cat café, after all we have loyal staff to do all the hard work for us and believe you me we’re still working them hard even though it’s Christmas time. We did let them stop to cook us a yummy Christmas dinner though. It’s only fair. They seem to have made a mistake though as they ate the Christmas dinner and whilst they did give us a very yummy chicken dinner, it was no Christmas dinner.

The staff are so well trained they even wrapped the presents that we got for them. We thought we should get them presents as they work hard for us but we could never wrap them ourselves, sounds like way too much hard work, though unwrapping presents is fun and playing with the paper.

We hate cones

Weeks 9 and 10: We’ve been here for 2 months now and we’re really settled. We’ve absolutely got our
routine down now: wake up, have staff make a fuss of us and feed us, force the staff to work planning our cat café, sleep all day then make the staff play with us. It’s definitely a hard life but running your own business was never going to be easy.

Sir Fluffington: Recently we were forced to have worming tablets. Sushi foolishly ate hers without an argument. I, however, knew better. The staff could have

been trying to poison us and take the café as their own. The staff cruelly forced the tablet down my throat and by a stroke of luck it turned out it was just a worming tablet after all.

Sushi: I think that perhaps I should be in charge of the house, after all women make much better rulers than men anyway. Because of this, when I saw Sir Fluffington going for the favoured bed I knew this was a chance to show everyone who’s boss and jumped off of one of the staff to go grab it. Sir Fluffington never saw me coming, ninja kitty Sushi the great…yes, I’m sure that’s how I’ll be remembered in the history books.

Sir Fluffington: It’s a little known fact but cats are actually rather frugal and as such…Sushi is just telling me

that actually a lot of people know cats prefer things when they are free such as the wrapping rather than the toy or the box instead of the bed. Hmm, perhaps some of you humans have caught onto this but I highly doubt that many have. Anyway, the staff have started building a cardboard box kitty tower, we love it because it’s just loads of cardboard boxes; what could be more thrilling?

A very shocking and disturbing thing has happened since our last blog. We were innocently going about our business; ordering the staff around, climbing the Christmas tree and whatnot…when suddenly out of nowhere we were whisked away into the carrier/play box and taken to the vets. Then we were left there! What kind of horrible human leaves a cat at the vets? An evil one that’s what! Somehow though it got worse…we had some hair shaved on our legs and a needle jabbed in, then everything went dark. When we woke something was very wrong…we were missing bits.

Sir Fluffington: I was missing something very special, VERY SPECIAL! Something no man should not lose, I was outraged!

Sushi: When I woke I had a big scar down my side it was horrible and I still hurt. However I was glad about what happened to Sir Fluffington as it will stop any incestuous feelings he may have had in the future.

We’re civilised kitties though and what’s done is done so we quickly forgave the staff, apparently it’s better for our health in the long run and after the worming tablet fiasco we guess we have no choice but to believe them.

Sir Fluffington: A big problem was after we got back we had cones put around our heads just to add to our humiliation. Even worse, it took me a while to get used to and somehow managed to get faeces on my collar and whiskers, it was shameful, so shameful I can’t quite work out why I’m telling the world this fact. Luckily for me one of the staff came quickly and tidied it all up. I decided that it was nice of the staff to clean me up so swiftly so I returned the favour by sitting on their shoulder and gracing them with my presence for a while.

Sushi: The cones have been a big problem; it makes it very hard to eat. Often I think I can’t be bothered to carry on eating. At this point I’m thankful for the staff as when I’m fed up of trying to eat they feed me out of their hand.

Sir Fluffington: Sometimes it’s important to put people in their place, so every now and again I have a little nibble of the staff’s neck to show them that I’m in charge, it works well at keeping them in line.  

                                                                                              

Sushi: Sir Fluffington loves blankets, sometimes I think that he thinks it’s our mummy. One time I decided to steal the blanket and Sir Fluffington didn’t know what to do, he even tried kneading one the staff’s hoodies but I guess it just wasn’t the same. It was good fun but I think I got a bit too comfy though as I fell off at one point.