10 Dec 2013

We hate cones





Weeks 9 and 10: We’ve been here for 2 months now and we’re really settled. We’ve absolutely got our
routine down now: wake up, have staff make a fuss of us and feed us, force the staff to work planning our cat café, sleep all day then make the staff play with us. It’s definitely a hard life but running your own business was never going to be easy.

Sir Fluffington: Recently we were forced to have worming tablets. Sushi foolishly ate hers without an argument. I, however, knew better. The staff could have
been trying to poison us and take the café as their own. The staff cruelly forced the tablet down my throat and by a stroke of luck it turned out it was just a worming tablet after all.

Sushi: I think that perhaps I should be in charge of the house, after all women make much better rulers than men anyway. Because of this, when I saw Sir Fluffington going for the favoured bed I knew this was a chance to show everyone who’s boss and jumped off of one of the staff to go grab it. Sir Fluffington never saw me coming, ninja kitty Sushi the great…yes, I’m sure that’s how I’ll be remembered in the history books.

Sir Fluffington: It’s a little known fact but cats are actually rather frugal and as such…Sushi is just telling me
that actually a lot of people know cats prefer things when they are free such as the wrapping rather than the toy or the box instead of the bed. Hmm, perhaps some of you humans have caught onto this but I highly doubt that many have. Anyway, the staff have started building a cardboard box kitty tower, we love it because it’s just loads of cardboard boxes; what could be more thrilling?

A very shocking and disturbing thing has happened since our last blog. We were innocently going about our business; ordering the staff around, climbing the Christmas tree and whatnot…when suddenly out of nowhere we were whisked away into the carrier/play box and taken to the vets. Then we were left there! What kind of horrible human leaves a cat at the vets? An evil one that’s what! Somehow though it got worse…we had some hair shaved on our legs and a needle jabbed in, then everything went dark. When we woke something was very wrong…we were missing bits.
Sir Fluffington: I was missing something very special, VERY SPECIAL! Something no man should not lose, I was outraged!

Sushi: When I woke I had a big scar down my side it was horrible and I still hurt. However I was glad about what happened to Sir Fluffington as it will stop any incestuous feelings he may have had in the future.

We’re civilised kitties though and what’s done is done so we quickly forgave the staff, apparently it’s better for our health in the long run and after the worming tablet fiasco we guess we have no choice but to believe them.

Sir Fluffington: A big problem was after we got back we had cones put around our heads just to add to our humiliation. Even worse, it took me a while to get used to and somehow managed to get faeces on my collar and whiskers, it was shameful, so shameful I can’t quite work out why I’m telling the world this fact. Luckily for me one of the staff came quickly and tidied it all up. I decided that it was nice of the staff to clean me up so swiftly so I returned the favour by sitting on their shoulder and gracing them with my presence for a while.

Sushi: The cones have been a big problem; it makes it very hard to eat. Often I think I can’t be bothered to carry on eating. At this point I’m thankful for the staff as when I’m fed up of trying to eat they feed me out of their hand.

Sir Fluffington: Sometimes it’s important to put people in their place, so every now and again I have a little nibble of the staff’s neck to show them that I’m in charge, it works well at keeping them in line.  
                                                                                              
Sushi: Sir Fluffington loves blankets, sometimes I think that he thinks it’s our mummy. One time I decided to steal the blanket and Sir Fluffington didn’t know what to do, he even tried kneading one the staff’s hoodies but I guess it just wasn’t the same. It was good fun but I think I got a bit too comfy though as I fell off at one point.


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